Who I Am: How My Relationships Define Me

Recently, I’ve been thinking about the ways we define ourselves – what we say when we introduce ourselves to others, how we talk about ourselves. All to often, I think our occupation is our primary identifier. As I’ve said, there are other things I’d rather know about you.

I think I’m best defined by my relationships with the people I love.

It’s these relationships that help me prioritize – my time, my energy, my resources.

See, I’m a list-maker. I’m constantly creating lists, editing lists, crossing things off lists, creating new lists. I even think in lists. This seeming rigidity actually helps me relax. Once things are on a list, I know they are going to get done.

I’ve long maintained that everyone has time for what is important. We’re all busy. We all have demanding jobs or young children or something else eating up our days. In the haze of competing responsibilities, we have to choose what to do with the twenty-four hours we are given each day.

I choose to spend as many hours as possible with the people I love. It’s that simple.

If a task or errand can wait until tomorrow, I’m headed home to spend time with my boyfriend. Invitations for events during the week aren’t accepted until I know which day my sister is coming over to watch The Bachelorette. Wednesday at lunchtime, I have a standing date with my father.

This is not to say that I refuse to attend events if I’m not allowed to bring a friend or that I have no interest in meeting new people. Quite the opposite. I just want to be sure, each day, that the people I love know how important they are to me.

For the rest of the week, I’m going to focus on the three most-important relationships in my life.


About Helena

Helena lives in Chicago with her boyfriend and two cats. Her boyfriend thinks she's awesome. Her cats agree.

Posted on July 12, 2011, in Who I Am and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. “I choose to spend as many hours as possible with the people I love. It’s that simple.”

    I love that. If your relationships are what you value most in life there’s no reason not to make time for them. Good for you!

  2. Well said, and I’m the same way. It’s through my connections to those I love (and that love me) that I see and understand life, so that comes first before work, before anything else.

    • Exactly, I feel like (here in America, at least) it seems like you have to be job over all or you aren’t “successful”. Eff that. I’m surrounded by love. I win.

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