Be Your Own Best Friend
First, I’m hoping someone else remembers those little “broken heart” friendship necklaces that were all the rage at White Oaks Elementary circa 1989*. Anyone?
Anyway, as you know, I’ve dedicated myself to evaluating my mindset, especially when it comes to things that make me happy (or not so happy). In so doing, it’s become quite evident that I’m rather self-critical. I think a lot of people are. It’s an easy trap to fall into. When you call yourself “stupid,” you generally don’t have to worry about a counter argument. I know I’m guilty of saying things to myself that, frankly, I wouldn’t tolerate coming from a friend.
But… what if I treated MYSELF like a friend? What if I was my own best friend?
Well, certain behaviors would have to end. Namely:
- Negative references to my weight need to cease, pronto. I’d never call a friend (or anyone else, really) a “pig-cow” (a common animal hybrid I use when I feel I’ve over-indulged). I wouldn’t dream of pinching a friend’s middle disparagingly or calling her disgusting.
- I’d have to start cutting myself some slack when it comes to relaxation time. I know, I know, we’ve been here before, but it’s a hard one for me. I can easily tell a friend she deserves to take a break, but reflecting that back on my own life has been tricky so far.
- I’m not stupid (at all, really). I make mistakes, yes, but I’m not stupid. Time to stop telling myself that I am.
Now, while I’m all about increasing the self-love, sometimes friends DO have to tell one another that they are making choices that are not ideal. Friends would encourage one another to stay healthy (e.g., take a dance class, quit smoking) or to stop dating losers (I finally kicked that phase, thank goodness). While I think it’s good to have a realistic self-image, I think a lot of us have a long way to go before our heads get too inflated. I know I do.
* Personally, I always made sure to get the “Be Fri” part of the heart. I pronounced it “Be Free” and saw it as a personal declaration of sorts. Either way, it beats “Stends”.